We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
