so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
