What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
