her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's blow job season.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
