so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
