So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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