we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
