i think my tv is drunk
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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