She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my shit smells like andre
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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