Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
