he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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