Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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