One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
