wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
