one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
