she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
