Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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