Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
