she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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