My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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