come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
