dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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