I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
