Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
time to smoke my breakfast
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
