So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
