the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
