Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
