you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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