Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
