That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
