He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
