So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
