I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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