bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The struggles of a small town man whore
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
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