wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
