he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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