Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
