Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
