He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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