You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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