after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
