hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
