If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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