we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
