I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
