Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
