ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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