Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
