Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
