I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
