He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
