My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My balls are so social today.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
