I'm so fucking centered right now
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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