You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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