I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
